What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
