Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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