I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
