so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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