That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
