someone get that fucking seahorse.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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