I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
