And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
