he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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