I wannas sexs uuuuu
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
