Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Randomize
