wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize