If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
