Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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