I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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