who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
