Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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