have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
