i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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