You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
50% drunk capacity currently
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize