I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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