guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Damn victory sex feels great
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
