remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
