Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
