its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize