Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just gargled with NyQuil
not ubering you a puppy
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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