what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
