I got chris browned last night
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
