That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize