is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
