Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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