Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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