I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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