I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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