I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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