Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
