I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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