you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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