he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
