arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
