the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
