"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need to stop coming to work sober
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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