True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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