the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You need a sexual gate keeper
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
