just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
