The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
