God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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