i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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