Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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