nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize