im six kinds of drunk right now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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