u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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