Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
