If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
