i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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