Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize