I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
time to smoke my breakfast
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
