Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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