This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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